Heartbroken.

It is taking all of my strength to even write this post, but I know that I need to in order to move on and heal.

Grace started to show way too much interest in Béla all of a sudden. To the point where Béla almost got hurt the other night trying to get away from Grace chasing her. There were other things she was doing too which were total prey-related red flags that made me want to puke while watching, knowing that it was bad news.

I called the adoption place to tell them about her new behaviors towards Béla and without hesitation they suggested I bring Grace back to them for Béla's safety.

It was absolutely heartbreaking for me to make the final decision to bring her back, but from the beginning I always said that Béla's safety came first.

I won't go into detail about what a horrible day I had packing Grace's things up and driving her an hour to the adoption place.

I also can't write about saying my final goodbye.

I can only try to move forward from this and know in my heart that I did what was best for Béla...and for Grace.

I love Grace so very much and know that they will find an excellent home for her without a cat. I've cried so much in the past 24 hours that I don't know how my body is even producing tears anymore. But, I am trying to have a good day with Béla...and trying to look forward to the day that I am ready to adopt again.

Thank you to all of my friends and family for your support and love during this extremely difficult time. I love you all very much.

I guess it is fitting that this song is the song that Grace was named after.
Hopefully Dave Matthews decides to not put this one on the setlist when I see them in September ...but if he does, I hope to smile and not cry.

Dave Matthews - Grace is Gone

"And No One Dared Disturb... the Sound....of Silence..."

Simon and Garfunkel -Sounds of Silence

Barking

Last night I made sure that Grace pooped AND peed before bed before I prepared myself for a night of earplugs, closed windows, and praying that barking would stop. I expected to have a sleepless night, but was pleasantly shocked by a night of SILENCE!!!!!

In addition to making sure she fully went to the bathroom before bed, I also got a few ideas from this blog post.

I put on the fan in my room for some background noise and had some Vivaldi playing in my room at a low volume. I am not sure if these helped or not, but I was sure thankful to get a good night's sleep!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let this continue!!!!   :)

Walking

Let the desensitization / counter conditioning begin! Man, this sure takes a lot of patience and time, but I hope that in the long run it will be so worth it for us. 

I start with the collar first - I show it to her, make the jingly noise, give her treats and praise. 

Then I slip it over her head - treat and praise. 

Then I let her sit with the collar on...treat and praise. 

It is a big deal when she even TAKES treats, because when she is really stressed she refuses to take the treats, so THIS is progress. 

Next comes the leash. 

This part is really where she gets stressed. So I do the same thing - show it to her - praise and treat. 

Jingle the leash so it makes noise - praise and treat.

Put the leash on her bed - praise and treat.

As long as she takes treats, I feel like I am making progress and I continue forward. As soon as I see her getting so stressed that she doesn't take treats, I back off a bit. 

Next is clipping the leash on....as soon as it clicks on, praise and a treat.

Then more praise and a treat for her just sitting on her bed with the collar and leash on. 

I did have to lift her off her bed to get her ready to go for her walk, but once I got her standing I gave more praise and a treat and then sat a few steps away from her holding the leash with a treat. This part took forever, but I eventually got her to take a step forward for a treat. Then another...and another until we were near the front door.

Normally I go out the back for walks, but I am trying something different for this.

As soon as we got to the door, I threw a treat outside. This is where she got stubborn. After a few minutes of trying, I got behind her and gently nudged her with my knee. She walked towards the treat and was outside! Woo! I closed the door and she stood on the front porch. I allowed her to observe sights and sounds there for awhile, then gave her a little tug and a "Let's Go!" for her walk. 

She came with me and had a nice 1.5 mile walk with me - loose leash the whole way!

I am nervous that once school starts next week that I will not have as much time to do this for every walk. I will do my best to do is as much as I can, though!

Also, since getting Grace, I have been feeding her before going for the morning walk.

For my school schedule, it works a little better for me to walk her first then feed her, so I am hoping that she starts to make a positive connection to her walk  - If I go for a walk, I get breakfast!

We shall see....

My mom is going to love this one!

And...just to be fair!

Random

I am not sure if I mentioned this before, but the Presence app for iphone / ipad is free and GREAT for checking in on your pets while you are at work. I am VERY thankful that my mom peeks at it for me while I go to work and reports back to me:

She is sleeping.

She got up for water.

She picked her head up when she heard a noise.

But thankfully, most of the time it is:

She is sleeping. 

I feel VERY VERY THANKFUL that I have not seen any signs of separation anxiety. From day 2 I made sure I left the house to get her used to me not always being there. I am so glad I did that!

Two things that were really important to me before adopting were that my dog be cat safe and I hoped for no separation anxiety. 

Whenever I am feeling frustrated by Grace, I remember to bring my mind back to these two very important positives that she has been so good about.  :)

Nine Times...

Ferris Bueller's Day off - Nine Times

Barking

I'd love to report that it was only 9 barks.

I THOUGHT it was going to only be 9 at one point.

I was seriously ready to do a happy dance.

But it wasn't. 

I knew that she didn't poop on that last out before bed, so I was worried that would be a problem. (I will say that from now on I am NOT coming back inside from that last out until I know she's done both.)

I went up to bed....

*9 barks.

I was excited inside, thinking she made progress.

But then it started....

*10 barks

Earplugs in...I need to ignore this....

*5 barks

Please please stop

*5 barks

Pleeeeease????

Then I heard the dishwasher beeping that it was done. UGGH! I knew I had to go down and turn it off or it would beep every 10 min or so and that would annoy me, too. So of course she thought it was go out and play time. I didn't even LOOK at her when I went down even though she followed me. Back up to bed for me...

*10 barks

Here we go again...

*Thumping on ground like a toddler having a temper tantrum

PLEASE NO!!!!! Come on!! I want to go to SLEEP!

*Nudging my feet with nose (new behavior)

Oh no...as cute as this I don't want her to now think she can physically get me up

MORE barks

Shit, maybe she does have to poop.

No, no, no....MUST IGNORE!

Then she went downstairs by the door and barked. I am sure it was very loud for my back neighbors (our houses are close, remember.)

I contemplated still ignoring her. I even thought to myself, "Fuck it - if she has to poop let her poop on the floor and I'll just clean it in the morning. I don't want her to think she can bark her way into getting what she wants."

But the barking continued downstairs by the door...and I honestly could not take it anymore so I let her out.

By this time I was cranky as all hell and very frustrated. I am not going to lie. 

She pooped when I let her out.

Then when I went upstairs she decided to bring up her loudest chew toy. When I was trying to fall asleep it sounded like a grizzly bear chomping on a piece of wood right next to my ear. I wanted to take it away, but I figured it was better than the barking.

She chewed and chewed until it tired her out enough to fall asleep.

Poor me woke up cranky and frustrated....not a good way to start the day :(

"These Go to Eleven"

Spinal Tap movie clip - These Go to Eleven

Barking
Last night was my first night of ignoring her nighttime barking episodes.
I was ready to go - I closed all of the windows (thankfully we have double pane windows) and got out my earplugs. I was ready for whatever I had to endure.
It started as soon as I laid down to go to sleep.
Now, I knew that she didn't pee on that last trip out to the yard. The neighbor's baby was crying, Grace was pacing and stressed outside, so I figured she would have to pee sometime during the night. On that first bark I let her out and sure enough she peed outside right away (and finally got her "I peed before bed" cookie that she didn't get before.)

Then I went back up to bed.

And....it started.

Bark #1   earplugs in
Bark #2   ignore
Bark #3   ignore
Bark #4   ignore

Bark #5   ignore
Bark #6   ignore
Bark #7   ignore
Bark #8   "Hail Mary, full of grace...."
Bark #9   ignore
Bark #10  "Our Father who art in Heaven..."
Bark #11  ignore

SILENCE!!!!!!!!     Thank you Jesus!!!!

Seriously....I prayed. That's how much I did NOT want to listen to barking!

Grace went all the way up to eleven.
Then she went to sleep on her bed.
Here's hoping tonight she only goes to eleven as well...or even lowers it a bit :)

Walking
Good walk this morning! I was proud of her again for not pulling. We had one anxious moment when a baby was being pushed towards us in one of those little push cars. Grace freaked for a moment, but then settled down as soon as the baby passed! Remember, this is an improvement because she used to pull all the way home. I am not sure if it is because she is getting used to the kids (I hope so!) or....if she is catching onto the "If you pull, you are not getting home any faster" strategy. I don't think I talked about it yet, but last week I started doing something different when she would start pulling. Instead of walking faster to keep up with her, or pulling her back like a horse, I would stop and slowly count to 5 in my mind. No matter how many times I have to stop, I make sure I do it. My goal is to try to teach her that pulling will not get you home faster. It will get you home slower. So, I am not sure which thing is really the reason for her reduced pulling.

This afternoon we tried a 4:30pm walk - when it is a little busier out there. I could tell she was a bit more anxious - more people outside, people wanting to stop and talk, kids outside, etc. So we made this a shorter walk. She did start to pull on the way home, so I did my 5 second stopping. She improved as we got closer to home.


The night walk went smoothly. She only got anxious when we passed a man who wanted to talk, a house that was having people over for a party, and a couple who were out walking. She continued her progress of relaxing after the stressor was passed instead of pulling all the way home.  When we passed the couple, they asked why Grace was so scared so I told them about her. They said, "I'm sorry" as if they felt bad for me. I told them not to be sorry, and that in a few months she will come up to them for pets and love.

Still have trouble inside the house - getting her to the door to go for a walk is an issue, then once the collar is on she is a statue in the house. Only progress here is that once we are outside she does not statue at the gate anymore - she follows me right out.  I need to get on the desensitization/counter conditioning thing. I will admit, I just totally forgot about it today. Bad me!

Pet First Aid / CPR
Today I took a wonderful Pet First Aid/ CPR class. If you live near me in California, I highly recommend taking a class with Denise Fleck at  Sunny-dog Ink. It was a hands-on class where I learned a TON of invaluable information about dog and cat first aid, CPR, and care. I already know human CPR, but it was excellent to learn the differences for pets. You never know when you might need this - not only for YOUR pet, but perhaps for another person's loved one.

This was super cute this morning!

I like to have my head on the floor even though my bed is big enough.

So Proud!

Just a quick update...it was a busy day so I didn't have as much time to write.

I just got back from her night walk - still a real tough time getting her to the point of getting the leash on and being by the door, but once we got outside, she didn't statue by the gate, but followed me out! WOAH! Hopefully that continues!
And if that wasn't enough....she let a TEENAGER pet her!!!!

Seriously.

A TEENAGER!

Ok, ok...so maybe she didn't know he was a teen, but *I* did!!!!
He had 2 smaller dogs with him and they all stopped. She got a little anxious at first with the dogs, but as usual she calmed down after a few seconds and engaged in doggie sniffing introductions. While all that was going on, the teenage boy and I were talking. Then he showed Grace his hand and pet her behind the ears for a few scratches.
The boy was a very calm soul who let out a great vibe - I think Grace really picks up on that with people (as most animals do.)
I was so proud I almost teared up.
No joke.

Another success was with the two skateboarding kids we encountered. She showed some anxiety at first, but when the kids passed they said "hi" to me and I returned the "hi." Not sure if that showed some kind of "these kids are ok" vibe to Grace or not, but she calmed down pretty quickly after they passed. Normally this kind of thing would turn her into a wild pony pulling to get home...but not tonight! Baby steps!!!  :)

Last night she did try her barking episode, but luckily it only lasted about 30 minutes. Since Craig is on his way to France, tonight starts the "keep barking all you want, but it is NOT playtime" thing. If I KNOW she does not have to go to the bathroom and she is barking, I am going to ignore it. I know it will be frustrating, but I have to do it. I've already closed all the windows. Hopefully the neighbors understand!

"It's 1am, It Must Be Playtime!"

 3am - Matchbox Twenty (or 1am...I just change the lyrics)

Nighttime
Last night was another one of "those nights."
From 12:45am - 2:00am I felt what it must be like to have a crying newborn in the house. Seriously, that's what I kept thinking..."I don't know how my friends with babies do it!"
I don't get it- I thought I tired her out with a 1.5 mile night walk, but I guess not.
I have no problem at all bringing Gracie out if she has to go to the bathroom. I need to go in the middle of the night, too...so I understand if maybe she will have to at times, too. BUT, she is starting to manipulate me into turning this into play time and I need to nip it in the bud.
The first time she barked I took her right out "Ok, ok...she has to go."
The second time I begrudgingly took her out again "Ok...ok...she peed, maybe now she has to poop."
The third time I wanted to ignore (and I should have) but I was worried about the neighbors since our houses are so close to each other and I was worried about Craig who was trying to sleep. Out we went, where she just sniffed around and played with her ball.
The fourth time, same thing...I should have ignored it but for others' sake I did not.
Out we went again, but this time I did not turn the outside light on. She sniffed the barbecue and walked around, then came back in.

After that, she went to bed upstairs. But remember, this whole barking and 4 trips outside fiasco lasted 1.25 hours.  Not good at that hour.

Craig leaves tomorrow for France for a week for work. I still have a week off for summer break. So next week is going to be the "Ignore Grace's Nighttime Barks Unless She Really Needs to Go" show. I'll talk to my neighbors today about it so they are prepared.

Walking
Onto some good news....she walked super nicely with me last night! We went out at about 10pm and she had a loose leash MOST of the walk! Wooo! I think the key is going when it is super quiet in the neighborhood - early morning and later at night. That is when she has the most success. This morning she also had an awesome walk! We even encountered 2 kids - one was across the street from us with her dad walking the dogs. Gracie heard her and freaked out a little. The guy stopped to talk to me for a minute from across the street and Grace slowly calmed down. Normally, this is something that would cause her to pull the whole way home, but she calmed down and was able to go back to a loose leash quickly. I was so proud!
The other incident was when a little boy was talking loudly to his mom while going to their car. Grace heard it first, stopped, and looked visibly stressed, but after we passed she got back to her calm self and a loose leash just a few houses away from that. Way to go! Small steps!

So, her walks are improving...but the time leading up to the walk is not. This is what I really need to work on. She hates when I take the leash out. She hates when the leash is first put on (becomes a stone statue) and she hates walking out of the house and through the back gate to begin her walk.
But, once I get her out that back gate and down the side of our house she really seems to enjoy being out and walking.

I think it is much like my fear of needles, where the "build-up" is much worse than the actual event. I was so bad with needles that I would get as stressed as Gracie is with her leash. I would not want to go to the doctor, I'd sometimes postpone appointments that I knew would include drawing blood, I'd feel stressed the whole day of my appointment, and I'd actually cry as they were drawing the blood. Full on CRY. And shake. Just like Grace does with the leash sometimes.
But, when it was all over I would always say, "That wasn't so bad! WHY did I get so worked up?"
Slowly, I learned that getting all worked up for a needle was not necessary. It is not as bad as I thought!
I am hoping one day that clicks with Gracie and she realizes that she actually enjoys walks, and the leash is just a necessary part of those walks.

I probably should have been doing this all along, but I am going to start to do more Desensitization/Counter Conditioning with her leash inside the house and in the yard.
Like I've said before, this is a learning process for me too!

Kids 
Even though she had progress on her walk this morning with kids, she did freak out in the house yesterday when she heard kids playing outside...

It broke my heart to see her this sad and scared.

I am trying hard to associate the kids' noises while they are playing outside to positive things - pets, treats, etc.
A friend of mine had a great idea of playing kids' tv shows softly in the background to try to desensitize her. I am definitely going to try that and then raise the volume as she gets more and more used to it. The adoption group also gave the idea of recording my students at recess when school starts and playing it back to Grace at a low volume while associating it with positive things. Hopefully these methods will work for her. I'd really like her to one day love kids.

Comfort
She is definitely feeling more comfortable around us and continuing to come up to us to pet her even more. Normally when I get home from being out anywhere she stays on her bed downstairs, but yesterday she actually got up and was standing in the living room looking at me.
She also has started coming into the kitchen more when I am doing things in there.
And.....last night she even laid on rug in the living room near me AND came up to me while I was on the couch for pets.
PROGRESS!

Getting off my bed isn't so bad! This rug is comfy, too! Plus I am closer to mom!

It is also a comfy place for a snooze!

Béla's Corner

I'll show that dog! I'll drink all of her water!

Here's to another day of learning and progress for the both of us.

Thursday 8.1.13

Walks
Well, the harness didn't work out so well.
She was fine walking around the house and out in the yard with it - we worked on that all morning and afternoon (skipped morning walk for that reason) but when it was time to put the leash onto the harness, she turned into this:

I am a statue. I will not move. Nope, not even for that cheese.

I tried and tried and tried to get her to feel comfy - cheese, patience, teaching, more cheese, more patience....nothing. Then I was finally able to get her out the back gate, but once we got to the sidewalk, statue again. And she was SERIOUS this time.  On a  leash she is usually just fine once she gets to the sidewalk - she will start walking once I say "Let's go." Just not with this harness contraption. I saw how stressed she was (shaking) so I brought her back to the yard. I was quite torn on what to do next....bring her inside and give up, or get that leash/collar setup on to try that way. I was a nervous wreck thinking she might statue with the collar/leash on the sidewalk as well. Please Grace....please don't regress on this one....Momma wants to WALK! Pretty please!!!!

Phewww.....luckily she was able to walk with me using the collar/leash. We had the usual issues with getting out the gate, but once we were out she walked with me ok. Pulled when we heard kids, but that is normal for her right now.

At night (this time when it was dark - around 10pm) my husband decided that he did not want another night of the little pony jumping around the bedroom at 1am. He wanted sleep. So, he took Grace out for a jog. This was his first time taking Grace alone so I was a bit nervous at first, but things went great! She had her same pouting of, "No, I don't want to go!" by the gate, but once they got out and running, he told me she did an awesome job! Woo!

Needless to say, she slept the whole night.  :)
We might be onto something here!

Comfort
Without a doubt, she is definitely feeling more comfortable with us. She has been coming up to me for pets more and more each day. Today there were two incidents in the hallway where I was petting Grace and jealous Béla came up with her stink-eye. We had two special moments where I was petting both at the same time. I wish I had a picture of that! It really made me smile. The SAME THING happened downstairs in the evening with Craig - he was sitting on the floor and had both girls within arms reach so he was petting both. Awwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! I did get a picture of that, but I don't like to post pics of people on a public blog without their permission...I will ask him later, though ;)

I remember when she would just stay in her bed and not get up for pets. It is so nice to see her trusting us more and wanting affection. This morning she even stood by my side in the kitchen while I was preparing her meal. Two weeks ago she wouldn't stand in the same room as me at mealtime.

I need to always remember these things to keep myself in check. She HAS come a long way already....with more successes to come!!!

All smiles today!

Make sure you post MY pretty face today, too!

The scene of Craig's "double petting" achivement

Special moment when she laid her head on my leg while I was by her bed.

She LOVES this gift from her Aunt Amber. Hours of stimulating licking and chewing!

"Go the F*ck to Sleep"

Go the F*ck to Sleep -read by Samuel L Jackson

Nighttime

I am not going to lie.

THIS story went through my head last night from 12:40am - 2:00am. 

I wanted to read it to her.

Or have Samuel L Jackson read it to her.

For some reason, Gracie decided that 12:40am - 2:00am was going to be her playtime. 

And I don't mean playing downstairs quietly with a soft toy.

I mean playing LOUDLY upstairs in our bedroom.

She brought UP EVERY noisy, heavy chew toy from downstairs, threw them around and loudly chewed on them.

Then she did this thing where she throws her front legs on the floor loudly to make a tremendous THUMP! - I KNOW that this is her play, but why can't she do this in the afternoon when everyone else wants to play! 

Nighttime, Gracie? Really?

Now, don't get me wrong, I was happy.

Happy that she was letting loose.

Happy that she was having fun.

Happy that she was enjoying her toys, 

Happy that she was playing.

Happy that she barked to go outside because she had to go to the bathroom again.

Happy that she seemed happy.

But, my husband and worked a very very long shift the day before and needed his sleep.

I had not slept well the last few days worrying where each animal is at any given time or worrying that someone needs to go pee.

I was tired.

Craig was tired.

We really wanted to sleep.

The only difference I could tell about last night was that Craig slept with the TV on. Perhaps she saw the TV being on as "oh, everyone is still UP, let's PLAY!"

Once I turned it off at about 1:50am, she want to bed a few minutes later. Not sure if the two were connected or not, but I guess we shall see the next time the TV is on.

Craig likes to watch TV before bed, so turning it off just to let her fall asleep is out of the question. Hopefully the next time she realizes that TV on does not mean playtime.

Walks

Last night's walk went quite well for a night walk. I call it a night walk, but really it is at about 6pm, not even dark yet. Craig and I both took her this time. She seems to do a little better when the whole pack is out. She still hated hearing kids...especially the kids on skateboards. What is it with skateboards? Loud trucks/cars pass and she is unphased...but a skateboard sends her into a tizzy. Weird. 

This morning, I took out the harness to try.  She seemed afraid of it right off the bat, thinking it was the collar/leash. Seeing how she reacted, I decided to whip out her cheese (high value treat.) I gave her pieces of cheese while the harness was in my hand or on the floor next to her to try to give her a good association. I did not put the harness on until I saw that she calmed down with it simply near her.

When I put it on, she was very calm and let me adjust it. Right now, she is laying in the office with me wearing her harness. I think I am going to skip the walk this morning and just let her walk around the house with the harness for a bit. I REALLY want her to like this thing.

Cat

Béla has started to show some jealousy. 

I can feel it. 

Don't ask me how I know, but I just feel it.

Yesterday she swiped at Grace a few times. Grace wasn't any closer than she normally has gotten, so I thought Béla's behavior was a little strange. Béla has also been giving me the stink-eye when I give Gracie treats - so I have been trying VERY hard to give Béla a treat whenever Grace gets one. The only problem with this is that Béla needs to lose a few pounds (don't we all?) so I need to be careful, even with skimping on her food a little bit.

I think I might have to have Béla stay upstairs w/ the baby gate closed when I am feeding Grace downstairs. Normally, Béla just sits on the top of the couch, but yesterday she was on the counter watching Grace eat with a stink-eye. I carried Béla upstairs to show her that she has hew OWN food ready at all times.

This is such a learning process with Béla, too.

Random

I love this outdoor raised bed...so does Gracie!

Even though I'm a scaredy-dog....I love my life!

"I'm learning to walk again..."

 Foo Fighters - Walk

Walks
This continues to be our biggest challenge.

Yesterday, the morning walk went awesome (about 90% of the time the leash was loose!) but I tried an early evening walk again and it was the opposite (90% of the time pulling.) I ordered a harness which should be arriving today, so we shall see if that helps things at all. I tried to coax her with some cooked chicken - it worked when we were in the yard and helped her a bit, but once we were on the walk she had zero desire to take any treats.

She still seems stressed by people working in their garages, unfamiliar noises, the rustling wind we hear on the night walk, and especially....the sound of kids. We don't even have to SEE kids. If we pass a house and she hears kids making noise of any kind inside the house, babies, crying, or hell, maybe if she even SMELLS a kid, she goes into "get me the fuck outta here" mode. (She even hates hearing kids outside of our house when we are home - she will start pacing.) Hoping that with time, patience, exposure, and love that it will one day "click" with her that kids aren't so bad after all. Now, this isn't a HUGE deal, considering I don't plan on having any kids, but I do have friends with kids who I would one day like to have over...and we live in a neighborhood with lots of kids....and I'm sure one day some of my other friends will have kids....so, hopefully one day she figures out that kids can show LOVE just like mom does.

She seemed to like when Craig jogged with her last week, so that has inspired me to TRY to start running. I have always wanted to be able to run, so here's my chance. It's not that I see myself as overweight, just out of shape. I did day one of the Ease Into 5K app while on the treadmill where you start out super "easy" -  alternating between running and walking with the run parts being 60 seconds long. I seriously found myself cursing at the voice every time she said "Run." One day Gracie will enjoy going on walks, and one day I will be a runner.

I'm trying to still figure out the best time to walk her at night that has the least amount of activity.
I've also started taking the same exact route each time.

I was inspired after meeting another greyhound and her owner yesterday (to make a long story short - dog got loose, good samaritan was able to catch dog, I was called to help take her to adoption group since owner could not be located at first, I arrived on scene, owner was located, they were reunited, dog was VERY lucky not to get hit by a car on Pacific Coast Highway!) Anyway, the owner told me that his dog was also VERY shy at first and would not go on walks or near his friends. He said that after about 6 months of exposure and gentle "pushing" things just "clicked" and the dog became social and now loves walks.

Big Bad Scary Leaves
For some reason she regressed with the Big Bad Scary Leaves in the yard and she seemed scared yesterday afternoon. She kept looking up at them and pacing everytime the wind blowed. Hoping today goes more smoothly when she sees this new gift, thanks to my friends' giving us amazon gift cards!

Her foster said she loved laying on this in the yard

Cat
Béla and Grace continue to live peacefully with each other. I am still SO THANKFUL for this! Sometimes it looks like Béla wants to be a closer "friend" but doesn't know quite how. She will get super close, then scurry away. Grace won't even pick her head up when this happens, thankfully!
Béla is super jealous about Grace being able to go outside, though. Sometimes Béla will sit by the back door and try to sneak out when I go to bring Grace inside. This morning she even tried to block Grace from going out....

"Um....if *I* can't go out, then YOU can't either! Phffft."

  (Don't mind the NASCAR kitchen flooring....replacing it is on our "to-do list")

 I've also had to reduce the amount of kibble I feed Béla because she expects a treat when she heard Grace's treat bag. Lucky for me I was able to fake Béla out by buying her kibble in a different flavor and using that as a treat :)                                             


Random
Did I mention that greyhound farts STINK?
Oh, yeah....
I did.....

Man, they are bad!

"You've Got a Friend...."

James Taylor / Carole King  "You've Got a Friend"

Friends

We had a bunch of friends over yesterday. Seven of them to be exact. Needless to say, this was extremely overwhelming for Gracie. I warned everyone ahead of time that she most likely would hide upstairs in a safe corner of the bedroom (and that they shouldn't take it personally!) Of course everyone wanted to see Gracie, so I brought up one person at a time to just simply stand by the bedroom door with me so Gracie could see them and watch us interact as friends. I wanted Gracie to see my friends and I hugging each other and speaking lovingly towards each other to try to get her to see that these strange people walking in her home are safe and loving, just like mom. Some left a tasty treat for Grace near her before going back downstairs. I discovered that Gracie really likes cheddar cheese. Very hard for me to buy, since I am vegan, but I need to do what is best for her right now. (The veg cheese just wasn't cutting it for her!) She even took a piece of cheese from my friend Amber's hand!!!! Grace had met Amber last week while we were walking past her house one day. Perhaps Grace knew her as familiar and was able to accept a treat and eat it from her hand? I am hoping that is a good sign that in the future she will warm up to others as well. 

When everyone left, it took her about 30 minutes to come out of the bedroom. Once she did, we went outside where she proceeded to sniff every single chair out there and all around the table where people were sitting. Once again, hoping this is a good sign. With our friends I am just going to be super patient and let Grace decide when she feels ready to hang out downstairs with everyone. The day I post a picture of her with my friends hanging out will be a happy day! They are all so excited about her progress so far and have brought her lots of toys, treats, and gift cards already. I am very lucky to have such wonderful and loving friends!

Walks

We had a kickass walk in the morning! I was so proud of her! She was hesitant at first (ok, I had to force her a little to go out the gate) but once we got walking she was a rockstar! We walked 1.5 miles with her leash being loose about 90% of the time! The only time she pulled was when we passed a home where she could hear a baby crying loudly. Other than that I think she really enjoyed this walk!!!! Thanks to the mist in the air, there were not many other people outside. I loved it! Being from New Jersey originally, I don't get to experience much rain in Southern California. After a few years of living here I started to miss rain. Now I see why my students get so excited when it rains here!

Nighttime

Last night I did not get much sleep. I kept waking up and looking for Grace, looking for Béla (no muzzle on Grace tonight so I was on guard,) listening for Grace getting restless, wondering if she'd give me a warning bark if she had to pee, etc....

Well, she slept well and did give me a warning bark, but luckily not until 5:45am.

Good girl! I promise to always listen to your bark telling me, "I need to go out!"

I barely take naps, but looking at this.....

Zzzzzzzzzz........

 and this....

Zzzzzzz........

...makes me think I might need one today....

Random
For those of you with pets who shed...
I read about this trick to use a latex glove to clean pet hair.
I didn't believe it until I tried it. SO EASY to use!

Gracie doesn't leave hair anywhere, but Béla does leave some on the couch...

It's a scary world out there...but I'm getting braver each day!

"What Was I Thinkin' ???"

 Dierks Bentley - What Was I Thinkin' ?
(The dog in this video is Dierks' own dog, Jake)

Well, this is definitely a learning experience for me. 

Last night we didn't go for the night walk. She just wasn't into it and I am trying not to force the night walk if I don't have to. When it was time to go to bed, I noticed she was much more active than usual. Normally, she goes to bed. But not tonight. She was going up and down the stairs, playing with her toys, and basically acting like a little kid who didn't want to go to sleep. I chalked it up to her personality coming out and ignored it. (Certainly I don't want to start playing at 11pm each night....maybe if I ignore it, she will get the hint that 11pm is not the best time for playtime, especially once I go back to work.)

I heard her bark once.

The only other time she barked was when she had to go to the bathroom one morning.

BUT, stubborn me at midnight was thinking, "No, I'm not going to come play with you...time for bed."

Stupid me.

What was I thinkin' ???

The bark DID mean "I need to go to the bathroom."

How did I NOT realize that???!!!!

She didn't pee on her last trip outside before bed...only pooped.

Why didn't I think of that when I heard her bark?

I assumed she wanted to play, that's why.

Luckily, she chose a spot downstairs that was super easy to clean - the kitchen rug. None seeped through to the kitchen floor thanks to the rubber backing on the rug.
To the trash it went....
But that's ok...it was the brown rug from the old apartment...I wanted a blue one for the new place anyway! ;)

Lessons definitely learned

When she barks, take her out.

I need to try to get her to pee before bedtime.

I need to learn her signs and not assume anything.

Oh....and when she barks, take her out.

I wasn't mad at her at all.

I was mad at myself for not figuring that one out.

Thankfully, my husband wasn't upset when he got home this morning. He understood.

I am not sure he will be as understanding when I tell him that she took a few chomps out of the wall by her bed in our room. WTF?! The wall? Time go shopping for even more chew toys.

Wall update: my husband said, "No big deal...I can fix that...things will happen..." :)

Big Bad Scary Leaves

Such progress yesterday with this!!! I was outside reading a book. I left the back door open so that she could come out if she wanted to. At one point, she came out, looked up at the big scary leaves blowing, then scurried back in. A few minutes later she came back out....and STAYED!

"Hey, it's actually fun out here!"

I was such a super proud momma!

New People
Our 2 friends came over today bearing gifts for Gracie (how sweet!!!!!) She decided to go upstairs and hide in the corner of our bedroom curled up. That's ok. I totally expected her to do something like that. The only thing I did was have my friend come up and sit on the floor by the bedroom door with me. She didn't look at Grace...we just sat facing each other talking. I also gave her a hug to try to show Gracie she was safe. We sat there for awhile and that was it. I didn't have my friend try to pet her or anything. She just left a tasty bone near her as a peace offering. They might be over again tomorrow. I plan to do the same thing. No forcing. She will come around on her own with our friends in time I am sure...

Hats
She hasn't been a fan of hats. The adoption group said that sometimes greys don't like hats because the handlers at the track always wore them. Today I let her sniff mine then I put it on and placed a treat on the brim. She took it right away! I did that a few more times to try to associate hats with good. We shall see how this hat thing goes....so far so good!

Random Thoughts
When a greyhound farts and you hear it, you might giggle...until you smell it!

Comfort
Well, take a look at this......

Kisses!!!!

I guess you could say she is starting to really trust and love me. :)

"Come in from the noise for a time...everything will be alright..."

Dave Matthews Band - Last Stop Reprise

I ain't gonna lie. I was frustrated yesterday. I might have even cried for a second or two. I am just trying so hard to do what is best. I posted on the message boards for advice about what to do about Grace turning into a statue before we go for a walk. I got so many wonderful answers from so many people trying to help. I am so grateful for people taking the time to help. But, I will admit, I hit the point where I felt overwhelmed with information. Many different opinions, all very valid....but what do *I* choose to do? What is BEST for MY dog?

So, I took someone's advice and turned to the other person who knows Gracie best - her foster mom from the adoption group. I try not to call her too much because I can see how busy she is - running the rescue group, taking care of all the dogs at her own house, taking care of all the special needs and injured dogs, adopting out dogs, running events for the rescue group, and so much more! It amazes me that she has time to sleep! I called her today and she was as cheerful and helpful on the phone as always. Despite having 1,000,000 things going on at once she was still able to give me her attention and listen. I truly love her for that.

She helped me feel good about all of the progress Gracie has been showing and she validated me pulling her to get her to go for a walk. That was the one part that I had been getting conflicting advice about - many people say to NOT take her at all if she is scared, while others say she needs to "get out there." I was also struggling with the fact that I was PULLING my dog and basically forcing her to go on a walk. THAT was my struggle. THAT was what was stressing me out. Figuring out what was best for Gracie.

I am going to take her advice, since she knows my dog. She said to still make her go on that morning walk since it is more comfortable for her. Yes, it is ok to pull her if I need to. I can't "feel bad." If the evening walk is too stressful, I can skip that and slowly reintroduce it.

BREATHE.....ok, I feel much better now after talking to her.
I am going to try my best now to relax and remember that everything will be alright....

Walks
Last night Craig and I were both able to take her for a walk. She seemed to like the whole "pack" coming out for a walk, and Craig got to see what I meant about her ability to become a stone statue and her Clydesdale pulling. I am so glad he came with me tonight so that we could help Grace together. It isn't always easy for him to be as involved as I am because of his work schedule, so any time with her is so helpful.

Cat 
Last night was the first night I let Gracie sleep without a muzzle. I know many people will think I am crazy for doing it so soon, but I feel like I know my animals. I know where Béla sleeps and I've seen how she comes into our bedroom when Gracie is on her bed. She is not Little Miss Instigator when she is coming into a room that only has one exit. She shows her "street smarts" in those rooms (bedroom/office.) She is on guard when she walks in/out of these rooms, which is great since I worried about her getting too close to Grace while she is asleep. Grace hasn't shown any indications of sleep aggression so far and she continues to show ZERO interest in the cat.

When Béla enters the bedroom, she totally slinks past Grace's bed like she is in stealth mode using the farthest point possible (basically hugging the wall to get on or under our bed.) Definitely a change from her hallway or downstairs attitude where she knows she has several means of escape and can be more brave. Seeing that is what helped firm up my decision to try nightime without a muzzle.

Of course I didn't sleep well - I kept waking up and checking where everyone was. I think I seriously could have just slept - there were absolutely no issues and Béla even did her "stealth sneak in" when it was morning time to come up on my bed with me. I'm sure she wanted to remind me about breakfast!

Comfort
Gracie has come a LONG way from those first days as far as her comfort level with me. She now follows me around - if I am upstairs, she comes up...If I go downstairs, she goes down. She also comes to me for pets sometimes. I can even give her hugs and kisses. I can tell that she is really starting to trust me more and more each day.  :)

Big Scary Leaves
Still showing progress on the big scary leaves front. She looks up at them less and less when we are outside, although for some reason she is still a little spooked by airplane sounds above (much to Craig's dismay since he is in the airline industry!) Her foster said that she enjoyed laying on the cot-style raised outdoor beds at her place, so I ordered one for Gracie to enjoy here.  I LOVE and am addicted to Amazon Prime!!!!

Collars
I think I might start to get a collar addiction after looking at some of these and these and these!!!  Gracie will end up being more fashionable than I am!!!


Here's to a day of relaxing.....and not stressing!
I realized that I don't post enough pictures....I need to remember to take more today!

Have a good day and remember....no matter what is going on in your life....everything will be alright....

Not much to report today...just really trying to give Gracie her space a bit to allow her to earn our TRUST more and learn to TRUST things in her environment more. The hard part for me is how to balance "giving her space" with "tough love" and getting her exposed.

A post on a facebook page that I like was just what I needed today (except I changed the word "people" to "dogs"

Flowers naturally bloom when they are ready, and dogs are the same way. Let's not force or pressure anyone to open up just because WE think it's time... Patience grasshopper!

Walks
Oh my.
The stone statue is in full effect.

Once we get outside with her leash and martingale on, she has started to become a stone statue right by the gate to go out.
I have been able to get her out the gate by pulling on her leash and calmly saying, "Let's go" but I have to be honest with you....I feel TERRIBLE for pulling her. Once I get her outside the gate she does starts to walk with me, but with hesitation...and lots of me tugging and saying sweetly, "Let's go!"

Maybe I'm selfish?
I am a total walker.
I LOVE going on walks! I always have. This is why it is so discouraging for me right now that she does not enjoy going on walks.
I'd love to ideally walk her 3x a day - in the morning before work, when I get home from work, then a short walk at night before bed to try to tire her out a tiny bit.
Right now I have only been walking her twice a day - morning and evening because 3x seems like it would be too stressful.

Morning walks go much more smoothly than evening walks. My guess is that there is just too much activity at night - more people/kids out, more noises, etc and it freaks her out. Many times I just cut the night walk short because I see her getting stressed.

My questions.....
At what point do you "give in" to your dog just NOT wanting to do something?
Should I be pulling her to go...or NOT going at night at all because she is scared?
Part of me craves the tough love approach and thinks I need to get her exposed and 'out there' but another part of me wonders if I am making a mistake by "forcing" her...

I am considering a harness, since I worry about pulling her neck. Greyhounds' necks are not as strong and sturdy as other dogs.

I will admit.
I am just frustrated today.
The worst part is I can't let it show around Gracie. I definitely need some yoga this morning...

Cats
She continues to be a rockstar with Béla. I am so very thankful for this.
Sometimes Béla can be an instigator, though. Today she would not move in the hallway when Gracie wanted to pass. Once Gracie felt confident enough to pass, Béla swiped at Gracie's hind leg. Ugh. There are rules for both of you! No hitting your sister, Béla!

I am in charge here.

Smiles in the office

Firsts
Kind of forgot about these....

First "roach" (couldn't get pic to flip on blogger correctly)

First semi- "bed fail"

"Wild horses.....couldn't drag me away....."

 Wild Horses...

Walks
I seriously felt like I was being pulled by a Clydesdale tonight. The walk started off on the wrong foot before we even left the door. I grabbed my hat, threw it on, got my sneakers on, and went to get Grace for her walk. I was going to do exactly what I did this morning - take her ID collar and bring her towards the door, THEN put her leash on there with some treats. As I approached her, she bolted upstairs.

I stood there, stunned.

Is this the way it is going to be?  
All I want to do is take my dog for a walk before she goes to bed...
Is that so wrong?

And then I realized....

I was wearing a HAT.

Joyce had told me that sometimes greyhounds are skittish around people wearing hats because the handlers at the racetrack always wear hats (and shorts.) I completely forgot. I was just throwing it on because my hair was not looking its best. Arrrgh!

So, in realizing that as a possible issue, I waited about 5 min for her to come back down on her own, before trying again (minus hat.) She got up with me easily and came over to the door, letting me put on her martingale collar + leash, but not accepting treats. We started our walk and it did not go very well. The good news was that a cat surprised her from behind a trash can. *I* didn't even see it coming. Her reaction was to simply stop and look away. I guess that is an excellent sign for outdoor cats!

The bad news was that she pulled about 80% of the time. Not  just regular pulling, but pulling like a HORSE.

There was just too much going on during this walk - people taking out trashcans, kids outside, people in their garages making noise, people on the sidewalks, wind blowing, you name it.

So I cut our walk short and brought her home.

She was stressed, I could tell.

I walked in the door feeling disappointed.
But when I went upstairs and she followed me up only to lay on the floor near me, I couldn't help but smile.
Last week she would have never done that.

Last week she would not:
~go up the stairs...now she comes up to sleep and follows me up to lay in the office with me while I am on computer

~let me pet her...now she lets me pet her when we are outside in the yard sometimes or when she is laying down. Sometimes she even comes UP to me for pets now, especially in the office or yard.

~eat if I was in the same room...now she eats breakfast AND dinner in my presence. Plus, I can move around the kitchen while she is eating. (Tonight she finally ate dinner while I was in the kitchen! Woo!)

~eat if I was moving anywhere near her...now I can put dishes away or go back and forth from fridge to counter

~pass by me anywhere..now she will pass me in the hallway and even the stairs!! We are still working on her passing me to get in and out of the backyard, since she is hesitant to pass in the narrow kitchen still. She will even pass Béla closely as long as she is not hissing at her.

~let me pass her anywhere...now I can pass her while she is laying in the hallway upstairs, pass her while she is eating, and pass her on the stairs. She will also let Béla pass her, as long as so hissing is involved.

~go anywhere near the big scary leaves in the yard...now she lays under them

So much progress for one week with this little scared girl!

So instead of being disappointed, I am going to go to sleep with a smile...celebrating in my mind all of the progress Graice has shown this past week! So much to be happy for really!

~She continues to be AMAZING with the cat. I need to keep that in mind. She is still going strong with showing ZERO interest in chasing/eating/playing with the cat.

~She has NOT had an accident in the house. Nope. Not once!

~She has NOT chewed or destroyed ANYTHING.

~We can leave for hours and she does not show ANY signs of separation anxiety.

~She will go to the bathroom out in the back yard in the same spot, especially right before bed (I think she figured out that she gets a treat for going to the bathroom in the same spot in the yard.....and a cookie at last turnout!)

~She lets me brush her teeth every night.

For all of the challenges we face, Gracie truly is an amazingly good dog.

LOVE!

See the heart??  I sure do!  LOVE!

With Sarah Jessica Barker (my friend's little girl gave this to her yesterday.) She carried it upstairs this morning.

Being cute outside!

Letting me pet her using the Love Glove (grooming mit!) - Big step!

Oh,...

Did I mention....she's amazing around Béla?


Oh, yeah... I know I did!  :)


Rock on, Gracie!!!!!!!