Grace is terrified of kids when we are on walks.
When she hears them, she starts to freak out a bit then pull in the opposite direction to go home.
If she sees them first, same thing.
She won't pass them on the sidewalk without a lot of anxiety and pulling.
I've been trying to purposely let her watch and listen to kids from afar when we are on walks...making sure I stop for a minute so she can see that they are safe and give her lots of calming words to soothe her.
Today I had a friend bring her smart and animal-savvy kids over. Grace observed me hugging the kids and talking to them with my arm around them so they were nice and close to me. The 4 year old girl brought a stuffie toy and sweetly placed it on Grace's bed. She also placed a piece of cheese there and a treat. (Someone told me that if a child gives a dog cheese, the dog will love kids forever!) Grace did not eat these until after they left, though.
When she is anxious she is not very food motivated. :(
For a few minutes the children and I interacted together with their mom and let Gracie watch, then the kids came near Grace with me and their mom so Grace could see that they are ok.
She stayed on her safe bed, but as soon as we walked away from her, she bolted towards the door to go out. I let her out and she just hid behind the palm tree for a bit. When she came back in she hid in a ball against the wall on the landing of the stairs, terrified. Before the kids left, the little girl came a bit up the stairs and waved bye to Grace. Then she calmly went up to her and pet her back softly. Grace was muzzled of course, so I wasn't too afraid of her being aggressive. She has never shown aggression at all, only FEAR.
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| NOT happy. Even after kids left and the muzzle came off :( |
In hindsight, maybe I should not have had the kids walk up to Grace at all (especially while on her safe bed - this is probably why she hid on the landing of the stairs.)
Maybe I should have just had the kids interact with me and only have Grace watch from afar on her bed?
Just like with teaching kids, I need to reflect and refine my strategies to make them effective.
A wise soul on the message boards suggested I wait a bit before having kids over again. Let her get used to home life (which is stressful enough for her) without pushing so many things on her. I guess I am just trying to expose her to as much as possible - once again that fine line of "tough love" and giving her space.
Next time kids come over, I think I will just have Grace watch and not even have any kids go near her.
I'll let her observe and decide on her own that "the kids are alright."
I think you might have to cool it a bit...it seems like you are anxious for her to get used to everything..its all going to take time.i would have just had the kids over and let her observe and kinda have the kids ignore her ..
ReplyDeleteYep....I need to back off from trying to expose her to too much and just let her get more relaxed with our house and routine. Its just hard because you feel like you want to get them exposed to everything so they can become more 'normal.' I will make mistakes and learn along the way. Trying to show her too much this early may be one of them.
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